Tell Me Last Night Didn't Happen
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: Leon is special.  He can do something no other animal alive could do.  He could screw Lambo, his master's lover as well as his own secret crush, into the floor using his master's form AND get away with it. Now THAT was a feat.  RL LeonXLambo


Large opaque eyes watched as his master – Reborn – stepped out of the apartment building and sauntered soundlessly down the street, soon disappearing from sight like a shadow into an abyss.

He had purposefully pulled a disappearing act, a sign to his master that he didn't wish to be found. So his master would be gone till morning on a mission to kill some hopeless idiot and he would be home!

Not only would he be home… There was someone home with him.

"Ah, Leon!" He turned his large eyes onto the young man standing behind him. His pink tongue flickered over his mirthfully curled lips as he bobbed his little green head in acknowledgment. "Goodness, and Reborn just left, too…"

His master's lover – _no_, not _just_ his master's lover, but the boy named Lambo who had the uncanny ability of having every animal he came across fall in love with him without fail – picked him up off the windowsill, allowing him to curl his tail around his wrist.

"Do you suppose it's too late to call him back and pick you up?"

Leon nodded, just for the hell of it.

"Aaah… You're most likely right, anyway… I've never known that bastard to forget anything, so he must know where you are."

The lizard hugged himself to Lambo's forearm.

"Heh heh heh… Feeling lonely without that asshole here? It's okay, we'll have loads of fun together till he gets back."

Leon's lips curled deviously further up.

If only Lambo knew…

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Wah!" Lambo held Leon to his chest as his last line of defense, his emerald green eyes wide on the screen. "Gotta… stay… calm… Waaah~! It's so scary!" Tears streamed down his cheeks and he tucked himself deeper into the cushions of the couch, whimpering.

Lambo had settled in to watch a movie around midnight, taking Leon with him. They had watched an array of videos, ranging from cheesy to dramatic to action packed to sappily romantic to absolutely terrifying to… this.

Lambo had fallen asleep during the cheesy, mocked the drama, cheered on the action packed, cried during the sappily romantic, and had laughed his tight little ass off during the absolutely terrifying.

And yet a documentary on ghost sightings translated into Italian had him scared witless.

Littering the table in front of them were bottles of pop, bags of popcorn, some cooking from Lambo's dinner that they had yet to put away, and a remote… which was somewhere beneath the clutter of all the aforementioned.

Leon determined whether or not to go hunt it down but decided against it when he was pulled impossibly closer to the cow-obsessed teen who was still whimpering. "Ghosts aren't my thing!" He wailed as if he felt he needed a reason to be reacting the way he was. "Goodness, someone shut it off!"

Leon decided it a lost cause and morphed into a snake, easily slipping from Lambo's grasp now to find the remote being used as a coaster for bread sauce. He didn't remember them having bread that night, but he let the oddity of the situation slide and instead bonked his nose off the 'power' button on the piece of machinery.

"Leon is so brave!" Lambo cried into the sudden quietness of the apartment.

Now a lizard again, Leon was more than content to be lifted level to Lambo's lush head of sable black and wade into the tresses.

He heard Lambo begin to chuckle and then laugh. "Goodness, Leon, be careful; my scalp is sensitive."

Leon made a mental note to himself: 'Scalp – yes'.

The teen released a long yawn before rubbing at his drooping eyes. "I'm off to bed…" He announced, retreating to the bedroom.

Leon accepted the hand down to the mattress and shifted himself around to get comfortable on his master's pillow.

Lambo stripped out of his clothes with lazy elegance, modesty be damned as he took his time with each article of clothing and rubbed at particularly sore muscles along his torso.

He went into the walk-in closet to debate his pajamas and Leon stared as he seemed to have to bend over to do so, his derriere to the lizard.

The other animals that fell in love with Lambo weren't like him – they weren't a part of his master and therefore of a cunning, powerful origin.

Leon nuzzled down into the pillow, gaze unblinking and smirk curling even higher until an American would be tempted to compare him to the Grinch who stole Christmas with the contrast of Leon having no teeth… or hair.

Lambo, sadly, found something to cover his nudity and shouldered his way into it, just as content to take his time now as he had earlier. He smoothed the cowprint nightshirt down to his thighs, covering his intimates. "I'm happy it's just us tonight, Leon." Lambo chirped. "Reborn would destroy this if he saw me wearing it in bed – I do not know what that bastard has against my awesome fashion sense…"

He climbed into bed and pressed a kiss to Leon's head. "Good night, Leon."

With that, the teen moved onto his side and was out like a light.

Leon waited another hour for Lambo to fall into the deepest realm of sleep before daring even twitch. When his tail flicking caught no attention, he confidently moved forward.

He had a secret; only he and his master knew of it.

His master told people he could not take a form larger than he was – that was a lie for both Leon's own protection as well as for their amusement.

He took the shape he had perfected over years of practice.

His smirk widened as he looked at his hand – a very large, five-fingered hand. His eyes were still amber, however; the only thing differentiating him from the person he was mimicking.

He took the blankets off of Lambo and kissed the corner of his lips, his hand already making quick work of pinching a nipple to hardness.

Lambo sucked in a deep breath and woke up enough to look blearily at Leon without that much recognition. "… Noo, bad Reborn… Goodness…" His voice was slurred by sleep. "Tired…"

Had Leon still been in possession of his tail, it would have started wagging; nonetheless, he felt something else rise to attention.

His hands wandered and Lambo's breathing hitched. "R-Reborn…" The teen turned over onto his back and arched into his touch. "O-okay…" He submitted without even opening his eyes.

With open delight, he teased the young body. His tongue flickered over each nipple, his fingers danced over bare flesh, and his eyes remained joyfully on the teen's expression of undulating pleasure.

He scraped his nails along Lambo's scalp as he ducked his head and took Lambo's length into his mouth without pause.

"R-REBORN!" Lambo's eyes shot wide open, his body shivering. "A-annn…" He looked down at Leon…

And then he screamed.

"Goodness, what happened to your eyes?" He looked torn between horror and suspicion.

Leon released Lambo's length with a small 'pop', dragging his serpentine tongue over his lips. Lambo paled a few shades.

His eyes danced from where Leon had been on the pillow next to him back to the Reborn-impersonator. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know about a tiny green lizard named Leon, would you?" His voice bordered on the edge of hysteria.

Feeling rather wicked, he didn't give Lambo's fear time to overwhelm the teen.

He toppled them over to the floor and continued from there, dragging Lambo's insecurities straight from his body with every his every touch, every nip and suckle, every whisper of a sensation.

By the time he had his tongue in Lambo's entrance, his true identity was the furthest thing from the hormonal teen's mind.

The teen was torn between sobbing and whimpering.

He slurped his tongue back into his mouth and positioned himself.

This was the moment… Finally, after two years of watching his master fuck this sinful body, he was finally going to have his chance.

Ah, patience was a wonderful virtue…

He rolled his hips loosely, stretching the teen carefully. Slowly, gently, he accustomed the teen to his girth, listening to his every cry and wail with a level of ecstasy comparable to an aphrodisiac.

Grasping Lambo's chin, he connected their lips. Their first kiss!

He felt him give in, tears trailing down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders and held on for what appeared to be dear life.

And from there, it was nothing but pure, unhindered _love making_.

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Lambo wasn't quite sure what to think.

He had woken up roughly around noon, his heart in his throat as he recalled the night before. He had leaped to his feet and dashed to the bathroom, feeling his stomach roll distastefully.

For one, he had just been raped by someone pretending to his lover. For two, he had given in and had, after a while, _begged for more_.

Strangely, after purging himself of everything he had eaten the night before, he became… frighteningly aware of many details.

Such as; why wasn't there a single mark on his body? Why wasn't there a stain on the sheets or the floor?

He checked every inch of his skin and then even the embroidery on the blankets; maybe whoever had committed the crime had washed him off and then changed the sheets to make it seem like it had never happened?

He shook his head. No, that couldn't be right… It had been too real! Every sensation, every touch… Too good, too sensitive…

He shook the thoughts away.

There wasn't a single sperm to be found, not a single hickey or bite mark to be seen, and least of all even slight bruising of the lips to insinuate heavy kissing.

The embroidery on the bed was the same he had fallen asleep on.

He sat down on the edge of the mattress. "… Goodness… I'm losing my mind…"

He felt tiny nails dig into his back and then a weight settled on his shoulder.

Leon stared at him with his usual serpentine grin, amber eyes friendly as he bobbed his head.

Lambo had the sudden thought that the lizard's eyes looked a lot like the eyes from his offender…

"… It _must_ have been a dream…" He rubbed a hand across his face.

Heck, there wasn't even any soreness in his hips or butt!

Some time around 3 in the afternoon, Reborn came home.

Lambo welcomed him with a .50 BMG rifle aimed at his heart and a hearty 'GO DIE, REBORN!'.

And then there had been painful sex on the kitchen table where afterwards, Lambo awkwardly walked away and made an early dinner, cursing his lover under his breath the whole time.

Reborn, half-dressed after the 'fuck his cow into the table' bout, sidled his gaze towards the chameleon smiling at him from where he and his lover had just had hot, sweaty sex.

"He was awfully loose when I entered him." Reborn flippantly noted aloud while Lambo was still busy making his opinion of Reborn loudly clear. "And he's been having a rather difficult time meeting my gaze."

Leon's grin only widened.

Reborn smirked in turn. "Even my damn lizard wants to screw my stupid cow… I suppose I can't trust even you alone with him."

Leon, not one to suddenly be overcome by guilt or the need to lie, bobbed his head; well, he couldn't be trusted alone with the boy.

He was irresistible.

"Somehow, the boy manages to give off pheromones that affects _all_ species."

He had nothing against nodding again; it was positively true.

Both master and pet took great appreciation in staring at Lambo's nicely clad tight ass.

"… Goodness, why am I suddenly afraid for my own well being?"

"Hey, cow, how do you feel about a threesome?"

* * *

Author's Note: Yes. I ended the story on that very awkward question. I believe it leaves much to the hungry imagination~

… As for why Leon screwed Lambo… I… don't know. But, in case you've noticed, I have yet to see an animal actually attack Lambo. If anyone knows a scene from the manga or anime that depicts otherwise, please tell me about it!


End file.
